Alarm Clocks

Note to all Advertisers: Please never make or approve another ad that uses the sound of an alarm clock. Especially the standard electronic version. Thank you.

The Weatherman

I heard this news story the other day, where there had been an unsuspected snowfall in Raleigh, NC. They reported that there had been about an inch of snow, and that none of the local news stations had predicted that it would snow at all. The images and video showed children sleeping in shelters, people apparently stuck because of the snow, and closed buildings. The report stated that the mayor of Raleigh was calling attention to the weather reporter's miscues, by blaming them for the effect the snow had on the community.

Does anyone else find this ludicrous? It's like someone dying of natural causes, and the family decides to blames the doctor because he didn't warn the patient of the possibility that he/she might pass on from natural causes.

I find the whole idea of the weather and the prediction of weather to be over-dramatic and pretty damn useless. But local news stations will build their entire organization around the idea that they can predict the weather, and do so more accurately than any other station. They buy Doppler and Nexrad, devote helicopters and balloons to the science of meteorology.

The only thing that seems to come close in a local news organizations' operating budget is "investigative" or "on your side" reporting and the development of new, complex sets to frame the anchors. It's weather every ten minutes... in a half hour show! That leaves about 13 whole minutes for other news, when you take out time for commercials. It's no wonder local sports reporters are horrible. They have to go up against the weather.

And for all the technology, we can't get it right. And I don't think it was meant to be predicted. Isn't it nice that we can rely on something to be unpredictable. What real value does it have? The best anyone can give me is that they know to bring an umbrella to work. But does it really change our lives that much. Does an errand become less of an errand to do, because we heard it might be raining? It strikes me that all of the money that local news channels put into their weather reporting would be much better suited for earthquake or volcanic eruption predictions. Those natural events just take a higher priority in my life.

And we eat it up. As a general public, we satiate over the weather report. It drives us to Home Depot and Sam's Club. We stock up on ice salt (because regular salt won't do it), shovels, duraflames, water, and coffee. We treat the onslaught of snow like there is no possibility that it will melt.

"Well, I'm snowed in." That's what we tell people. We can't physically leave the house, because the snow is piled high enough to keep the door from opening. And we talk about it with people like it's the most exciting thing to discuss. "Have you noticed this weather?" "How 'bout it?"

There is no logical response. "Yes, I am a human who has windows in my home. I have seen the weather, but thank you for updating me on the condition."

We love to take ownership of the weather prediction too. How often have you had a conversation with someone about the weather where you state what you heard. "Well, we're going to get 3-4 inches of snow, they say." And someone else will swoop in to the conversation and declare "No, no. I've heard it'll be at least 6 inches."

It's the only time when it is perfectly acceptable to butt in to a complete stranger's conversation, without saying "Excuse me" or "Pardon me, I couldn't help overhearing."

Weather is the universal conversation initiator. It's the only thing that everyone has experienced and thus can share thoughts on, in conversation.

I find it most interesting that we are the dominant species, and yet we are the only species that needs to know what the weather will be like tomorrow. We're just so unprepared, otherwise.